Why Do You Make Me Feel This Way?!
by MizukoMidori
Summary: Slightly A/U Angel/Darla story. Darla's life up to the point where's she's pregnant, but not with Connor. Just read it ppl! R&R!


Why Do You Make Me Feel this Way?  
  
"It's not fair!" Darla yelled.  
  
  
  
Her two companions looked at her. Drusilla squealed in anticipation at an angry Darla. She always loved people yelling. Spike just sighed. His great grand sire had been ranting about one thing for the past three days.  
  
  
  
"They just had to curse him! What did he ever do to them!?"  
  
  
  
"He killed a member of their clan pet."  
  
  
  
Darla gave him a sharp look. How dare he talk to her like that. Especially since now that Angel was gone she was in charge. She may have been the oldest there but Angel always took the directive. Now he was forever cursed with a soul.  
  
  
  
"This can't happen! If we kill! Kill them all maybe we can save him. Somehow break the spell."  
  
  
  
"Grandmummy wants to have fun, bit at a price. Unfortunately grandmummy can't always get what she wants." Drusilla said while, combing her hair with her fingers.  
  
  
  
"Shut up Dru. I'm not in the mood for any of your incoherent ramblings."  
  
  
  
Dru moved in to Spike's embrace whimpering slightly.  
  
  
  
"Don't worry luv it'll be alright," he turned to the blonde, "How do you suppose we find them huh. They'll most likely figure we plan to come after them and go into hiding."  
  
  
  
Darla smiled sadistically. She was the oldest for a reason.  
  
  
  
"The hunt is half the fun William. You hunt them, track them, chase them, and finally bring them down begging for their pathetic lives."  
  
  
  
Spike had to smirk at that, but there was something else, "What about Angelus. He's missing too. And he'll be harder to track."  
  
  
  
"Don't count you chickens before they hatch. Some might be dead." Dru muttered not really paying any attention.  
  
  
  
  
  
The Boxer Rebellion.  
  
  
  
"Where have you two been?"  
  
  
  
"Calm down Dar, we were just busy. What's wrong run out of people to feed on?" Spike looked at all the people rushing by them.  
  
  
  
He grabbed one and bent his neck down toward Drusilla. The dark haired vampiress gladly accepted the offering of blood, and bit down greedily.  
  
  
  
"Well I heard there was a slayer running around. Plus with all the fire it's not good to be separated. You guys are lucky your not slayer dust."  
  
  
  
Drusilla looked up, throwing her kill to the side, 'Oh there was a slayer. But she wasn't invited to the party so we had to dispose of her."  
  
  
  
"You came across the slayer?" Darla asked in disbelief.  
  
  
  
"Came across her and drained her." Spike said, almost giddily.  
  
  
  
"She was very sweet. Like sugar and tea."  
  
  
  
Spike looked past Darla at something and a smirk crossed his face, as he licked the bit of blood from his lips, "Well looky looky what I found."  
  
  
  
Darla turned around. Her mouth dropped open in shock. What was he doing here? Maybe he wanted to come back. Maybe he had got rid of that pesky soul. Maybe they could be a family again. Her, him, Drusilla, and Spike. Or they could make this a double date. Obviously Spike and Dru had hit it off.  
  
  
  
"Angelus." She finally stammered out.  
  
  
  
"Darla."  
  
  
  
He sounded horrible. Tortured. Like he had been badly beaten up. He looked bad too. Like he hadn't fed in forever.  
  
  
  
"Darla, take me back you have too. I can't handle this. The pain. I can't stand it. Make me one of you again."  
  
  
  
She knew it was too good to be true. Yes he wanted to re-join them, but he still had that damned soul. He would never be a normal vampire if he had a soul. He would hate killing. It torture him in every way possibly.  
  
  
  
Or would it?  
  
  
  
He said he wanted to join them again. Maybe he was ready to kill. She had to find out.  
  
  
  
There was a child near by. It had been crying for a while. She was just waiting for the two lovebirds to get back before she was gonna feed on it though.  
  
  
  
"Alright Angelus. Just do one thing for me. You do this and you can be with us forever."  
  
  
  
She went over and picked up the child and brought it over. She held it up to him, a slight smirk playing on her blood stained lips.  
  
  
  
"You look like you haven't fed in a while. Have a special treat."  
  
  
  
Angel stared down at the child in horror. Just as she thought. He couldn't do it. Something inside hurt at the thought. The thought that they could never be together again.  
  
  
  
"Please Darla something else. Not the child." He pleaded with her.  
  
  
  
She almost gave in. Almost. His eyes. She could never resist them. Lucky Drusilla took the directive then.  
  
  
  
"Bad Daddy. We should be very cross with you. 'Tis not nice to abandon your family." She glared at her sire.  
  
  
  
"Sorry Angel, but it won't work out. You can't be a vampire and have a soul. You lost you chance with me when you gained that. that thing! I suggest you leave now. I hear there is a slayer lurking about."  
  
  
  
She put on a smirk to hide her real feelings. Disappointment. Hurt. Anger. Anguish. The desire to kiss him again. To touch him one more time. 'Stop it!' she scolded herself. Darla made a show of turning her back and walking away form the only thing she ever loved. She knew she wouldn't see him again. And it hurt so much.  
  
  
  
'No it doesn't. It doesn't hurt because I don't have feelings. I can't love. Especially not him'  
  
  
  
  
  
Sunnydale.  
  
  
  
Darla couldn't believe what she had seen. He was more pathetic than she originally thought him to be. Having a soul had had a very, very bad affect on him. To love someone. To love the slayer. It was gross. It was immoral. It was wrong.  
  
  
  
A vampire shouldn't love a human. Especially the slayer. Vampires shouldn't love period. It was technically impossible. With the whole not having a soul deal. Of course Angel did have a soul. He was a magnificent poof as Spike used to put it.  
  
  
  
She had disbanded from the two sex machines after she got really bored of listening to them go at it all the time. She went back to the Master. Pleaded for forgiveness and asked to bathe in his splendor. It was a load of bullshit if she ever head one and she could not believe he fell for it. She wouldn't even have gone back if it weren't for his promise.  
  
  
  
To get revenge on Angel.  
  
  
  
Since the incident during the rebellion she had grown to despise and hate the souled creature of the night. She hated his very being his very existence.  
  
  
  
Then why did she feel so comfortable sitting in his apartment?  
  
  
  
She went there and planned on torturing him. Taunting him with remembrance of the past. Why he could never be with that slayer he was so fond of. Payback for the torture he put her through.  
  
  
  
'Torture?'  
  
  
  
She heard the door creep open and placed a perky smile with a hint of smirk on her face. This was going to be so much fun.  
  
  
  
"Hey baby miss me?"  
  
  
  
He looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. He so hoped it wasn't her. His sire. He tried his damndest to forget about her. The site of her quickly dashed his hope.  
  
  
  
She of course looked different. Her hair was shorter and straight and not in any fancy style. She was dressed in modern clothing, but it was still her. That telltale perky smirk, those eyes. He always loved her eyes.  
  
  
  
"D-Darla um what are you doing here."  
  
  
  
"Oh come on, don't you know? I would've thought you would know I'd one day go back to the Master."  
  
  
  
"So you're here working for him."  
  
  
  
She laughed, "You know Angel you are one sad vampire. You try to be human, but your not. Look at this. Nice little apartment. All furnished and everything. Even decoration," she picked up a picture frame and gazed at the picture in it, "Oh and who's this? My she's pretty. Kind of petite. Cute too. Yeah she's a cute little slayer."  
  
  
  
"What do you want Darla?"  
  
  
  
"I want nothing. You've changed a lot I see. I guess falling in love with the whole slayer deal is a big step in your life. I remember when the steps you took were trying to find the next meal."  
  
  
  
A pained look came over his face and her smirk widened.  
  
  
  
"I wonder if she knows" she said again looking at the picture of Buffy.  
  
  
  
"Knows what?"  
  
  
  
Darla licked her lips slightly, "About the curse," she answered in a low silky voice that touched Angel to the depths of his soul. And it scared him.  
  
  
  
He didn't answer her. Not with speech anyway. He did take the picture from her hand and set it back down on the desk and avoided her penetrating stare however.  
  
  
  
"You're not you know?" she said softer, more gently.  
  
  
  
He looked up sharply, not quite understanding. She sighed.  
  
  
  
"Human. You are not human."  
  
  
  
To prove her point Darla pulled down the black curtain that was covering the window, exposing the bright sunlight. Angel reeled back as light poured on him. His arm began to smoke, as he threw himself into the shadowy corner.  
  
  
  
"You are not human and you never will be human."  
  
  
  
He gave her that pleading look again. But she would not be swayed by it. Not this time. She had come to far to fall under his spell now. She turned and quickly left.  
  
  
  
'That was a little harsh'  
  
  
  
"Shut up!" she yelled at the annoying voice in her head as she lowered herself into the sewer.  
  
  
  
  
  
A coupe days later.  
  
  
  
Darla stared up at Angel in shock and disbelief. Hurt and confusion. What had just taken place?  
  
  
  
Oh yeah, she tried to kill the slayer. Angel stopped her. Rescued his love. Rescued her with a God damned stake through the heart. Her eye would've teared up. She would've cried. She would've been all angsty. She would've been all those things if she wasn't a small pile of dust on the ground.  
  
  
  
Angel stared at the pile of dust in horror. He had just killed Darla. His sire. A girl he had loved for over one hundred years. You could say the love of his life. And he plunged a stake through her. To protect Buffy. Even though he loved Buffy now and not Darla he still felt bad. Because he still had feelings for her. They might not be what they used to have been, but they were there.  
  
Part of him argued though that when he was with Darla in the first place there were no feelings involved. Just lust, desire. It seemed vampires were sex driven most of the time. When they weren't they were blood driven. Either fuck or feed, that's what a vampire came down to. Only he knew it hadn't just been fucking with Darla. There was something behind it.. He just didn't realize it until it was too late.  
  
  
  
"Angel?" came Buffy's concerned voice.  
  
  
  
He dropped the stake and it clattered into the ashes. He turned to face the woman he loved and embraced her. Something was off though. Different. He tried to tell himself that it was just because he killed his sire and there was something unnerving about that. He wasn't quite sure if it worked.  
  
  
  
  
  
L.A. .  
  
  
  
Angel stepped out of the Hyperion into the cool night air. Cordelia and Wesly had been arguing and he needed to get out of there. He took a deep unneeded breath taking in the crisp fresh scent. He always loved nighttime in L.A. At least when he wasn't chasing after demons or anything. Plus it gave him time to think. Being cooped up all day inside with the fang gang didn't leave him time to do that much. Cordelia was always nagging him, or Fred was always trying to offer him comfort, or Wesly was filling his head with useless knowledge that didn't turn out to be so useless, or Gunn wanted to go to Vegas. It was just a little too much to handle.  
  
  
  
"Nice out, isn't it?" the voice of his sire taunted him.  
  
  
  
He was used to these conversations with the people he killed. He chatted regularly with Jenny. Of course it was all in his head. He wasn't really having an actual conversation, just imagining one.  
  
  
  
"Yeah it is," he answered the so-called voice in his head.  
  
  
  
"Aren't you surprised to see me?"  
  
  
  
That was different. He turned to the side to see Darla sitting there in a white long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. She gave him a sad smile as she walked up to him, stopping right before him.  
  
  
  
'God I forgot how much taller he was'  
  
  
  
"You-You're real," he said caressing her cheek lightly.  
  
  
  
"Tell me about it."  
  
  
  
She took his hand from her face and placed it over her heart, smiling warmly at him. She even giggled at the shocked _expression on his face as he realized her heart was beating. A slow steady Thump! Thump! Thump!  
  
  
  
"You're alive." He stated.  
  
  
  
"Tell me about it," she repeated, "Wolfram and Heart brought me back, as a human."  
  
  
  
Suddenly Angel backed up his whole demeanor changing. He went from awe to suspicious in mere seconds. Darla looked hurt at his sudden change, but he didn't take notice. He narrowed his eyes at her.  
  
  
  
Darla couldn't believe. He was there touching her, and then acted like she was a piece of rotting flesh. She wanted to cry. 'Curse this soul' She didn't want it. She didn't even want to be human. But it was how they brought her back. She had come to ask Angel to turn her. Make her what she was. Unfortunately that pesky soul had other plans and she felt herself giving into feelings she had before denied. And he didn't seem to like the new her either.  
  
  
  
"Why are you here?" he demanded harshly.  
  
  
  
She flinched and resisted the urge to burst into tears.  
  
  
  
"Why did Wolfram and Heart send you here?"  
  
  
  
That surprised her, "Send me here! God Angel I came back because I wanted to. They didn't send me here. I just heard them saying something about you and asked if they knew where I could find you! I sought you out by my own will!"  
  
  
  
Angel felt bad now. He had made her cry. And it seemed even worse seeing the tears run down Darla's face. She was alive again. Had a soul and new to the emotions thing and he had jerked them around in a careless manner. She looked so helpless vulnerable.  
  
  
  
"Look Darla, I'm sorry. Its just Wolfram and Heart are out to get me and when you mentioned them I just automatically assumed."  
  
  
  
"Yeah well don't assume things. You tend to make and ass out of you and me when you do."  
  
  
  
He chuckled at the come back. He deserved it.  
  
  
  
"I am glad your back. And you're human God."  
  
  
  
"That is part of the reason I'm here."  
  
  
  
She was suddenly serious. He took a step closer to her and lifted her chin to look into her eyes. She was nervous of what she was about to say, he could tell. He wanted to kiss her. It was an impulse that just hit him, but he wanted to. She looked so beautiful bathed in a mixture of the moonlight and the city lights. He slowly leaned closer and captured her lips in a soft gentle kiss.  
  
  
  
Darla felt on top of the world. He was kissing her. Angel was kissing her and God it felt good. And it wasn't the hard meshing of lips they shared back in the soulless days. No it was gentle sweet and full of emotion. She couldn't ever, ever remember being kissed like this before. Suddenly she wasn't so sure about her idea.  
  
  
  
He parted to let her take a breath. God he was perfect. Remembering she was human and everything.  
  
  
  
'This is it girl. Ask him or not'  
  
  
  
"Angel," she breathed.  
  
  
  
He leaned in and kissed her again. A little deeper this time but still so gently. He was afraid he would hurt her and he didn't want to do that. No he could never hurt this poor creature.  
  
  
  
'Human it is'  
  
  
  
  
  
9 months later.  
  
  
  
She stared down at her stomach. It's time he found out what he did to her. After that one night they had made love. It was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Then she realized about the curse, about his soul. But nothing ever happened. She also realized that he would never truly be happy with her. Especially with what happened next.  
  
  
  
His eccentric friend Cordelia found out. She walked in on them asleep the next morning. Apparently Angel had also had revelations that night. Because he told her that that was the only time that was ever happening. And that he didn't want her around anymore.  
  
  
  
Two months later Drusilla was called in. Turned her back into a vampire. There was a slight hitch though. Angel remembered she was human for the most part. Only they hadn't used protection. Darla got pregnant.  
  
  
  
So after Dru vamped her she didn't want the baby. So she tried to get rid of it, only it didn't quite work. She tried to get an abortion with help from the Wolfram and Heart doctors. Didn't work. Then she tried to cut it out of herself. Didn't work. Then she tried witchcraft. Didn't work. So she admitted to being stuck with it.  
  
  
  
Now she had to tell Angel. It was almost time for this child to come out and she wasn't raising it alone. She grabbed a duffle and threw clothes into it. She slung it over her shoulder and headed out into the night.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Where's Cordy?" Angel asked, walking in lobby.  
  
  
  
"Out." Gunn answered.  
  
  
  
"Yeah she's still pissed at you." Fred put in.  
  
  
  
Angel had been depressed since he pretty much told Darla to get lost. He realized that night that he still loved her. He was surprised when his soul didn't go fleeing from his body. But he couldn't risk it. And he was lying there trying to figure out how to tell her when Cordelia as usual barged in without an invitation. She'd make a very poor vampire.  
  
  
  
He'd used the whole Cordelia being mad at him as an excuse to get Darla away so he wouldn't end up hurting her. It hurt him though to see her leave with tears streaming down her face, and a look of hatred. He wondered briefly what she had been up to these past few months.  
  
  
  
"So what about this vision she had." He asked trying to take his mind off his now human sire.  
  
  
  
"Something about a little girl, being kidnapped by vampires. But it's not important now." Wesly told him rather dismissively.  
  
  
  
"Why not?"  
  
  
  
"'Cause it happened four years from now." Fred said.  
  
  
  
"Oh"  
  
  
  
The door to the Hyperion opened and Angel looked up, expecting to see Cordelia. But what he saw wasn't Cordelia. It was anything but. In a blue dress with a pissed look on her face stood Darla. She set her duffle bag down and gave him a cold familiar smile that sent shivers down his spine.  
  
  
  
"Hello lover." She greeted, putting a hand on her protruding belly.  
  
  
  
"Cordelia is going to hate you forever," whistled Gunn, noticing the most obvious thing about Darla.  
  
  
  
She was pregnant.  
  
  
  
And there was no doubt who the father was.  
  
"This is impossible."  
  
  
  
"Tell me about it. Daddy."  
  
  
  
She waked through the entrance over to him, sending him a defiant glare. She not so gently picked up his hand and put it over her bulging stomach. He could feel the child moving around, kicking, he could feels it's little heart beating. Slowly she moved his hand up to her own chest. Where he felt nothing. No beat not even a trace of one. That's when he realized how cold her touch felt and yanked his hand back.  
  
  
  
"Surprise. Surprise." She said, sardonically.  
  
  
  
"You-What-How-How did this happen."  
  
  
  
"Oh Dru found me a couple months after you kicked my sorry ass out of here. Se was dead set on having her family back. What good would a family be without the grandmother. She was already disappointed in not getting a father though. But I think she gave up on that a long time ago."  
  
  
  
Angel wanted to kill Drusilla. He wanted to kill himself. This was his own stupid fault. If he hadn't been so harsh.  
  
  
  
"Darla, why exactly is it that you are here?" Wesly asked trying to be rational. He took his glasses off and began to clean them in a very Giles- like manner.  
  
  
  
"What you expect me to raise a kid on my own. Single vampiric mother who wouldn't even be able to get a job."  
  
  
  
"You could've gotten an abortion." Gunn stated.  
  
  
  
"Gee do you think? I tried. I tried to get rid of this stupid child, but I can't. And I mean I can't in its impossible to physically destroy kind of way."  
  
  
  
Angel stared at Darla's stomach. Slowly he reached out a hand and touched it feeling the life inside. She looked up at him sharply, but he didn't pull his hand away. His other hand moved to push a strand of stray hair from her face.  
  
  
  
"You guys, can you leave for a bit. I need to talk to Darla alone." He asked without ever taking his eyes off her.  
  
  
  
They all nodded and left the hotel heading to wherever Cordy was.  
  
  
  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he hand was resting on her cheek  
  
  
  
"I didn't think you'd care. I mean, you took me in when I was helpless, played with my emotions, and then threw me out to the dogs! The only reason I'm telling you now is because you're going to help raise it!"  
  
  
  
He was a bit taken back by her outburst, but knew all too well that he deserved worse. He looked deep into those eyes and saw something there. Something he had only seen one other time. Right before he kissed her. Vulnerability. She still had a soul. She still had feelings and he was the bastard who toyed with them.  
  
  
  
He leaned in to kiss her. And he almost did when she pulled away sharply and glared at him.  
  
  
  
"Don't you dare!"  
  
  
  
He sighed He was still in love with. And he always will be. And now they would have a baby. And she hated his guts.  
  
  
  
"Don't you dare think you can kiss me and expect me to be head over heels for Angel! It doesn't work that way! You fucked me up! You fucked me up royally! Literally and figuratively! You are not going to fix this with a kiss and a few kind words!"  
  
  
  
He wished he could stake himself. She burst into racking sobs and sank to the floor, placing her head in her hands. She was right. He had screwed up big time. And he wasn't going to fix it easily.  
  
  
  
He sat down on the floor next to her and moved to give her a comforting hug, but she hurled herself away from him.  
  
  
  
"Stay away!"  
  
  
  
'Why do I love you so much. God I hate you! No I hate the way you make me feel!'  
  
  
  
Angel watched from a slight distance as her sobs subsided. She quieted down. And lay on the floor still. He finally noted that she had fallen asleep. She looked so innocent like that. Lying there in the middle of the lobby floor just sleeping. He knew she wasn't innocent though. And he was part of the problem. He sighed.  
  
  
  
Just as things settles down an ear-piercing shriek filled the room. Angel jumped up and ran over to Darla who was now wide-awake. She screamed again and allowed him to help her to her feet.  
  
  
  
"What's going on?!" he asked in a panic.  
  
  
  
"Contractions."  
  
  
  
She put the death grip on his silk shirt to help support herself.  
  
"Does this mean your going into labor?" he asked rather stupidly.  
  
  
  
"Gee do you think? No Michael Jordan's going into labor. Oh God my water just broke."  
  
  
  
Angel looked around at the office appliances for help. When they didn't' give any he finally said, "We need to get you to the hospital!"  
  
  
  
"Two problems. It's daylight and I'm dead. Don't think the doctors would take to kindly to a woman who doesn't have a pulse or a heartbeat."  
  
  
  
Angel thought a moment.  
  
  
  
"I don't care!"  
  
  
  
Sure that she could support herself for a few he ran into his room grabbing a thick blanket. He came back out draping it over both of them. Before she could protest he dragged her out the door and into his car. She let out another yell as another contraction hit.  
  
  
  
When they reached the hospital, Angel wasted no time in fully wrapping Darla in the blanket and carrying her inside. He ignored the intense pain and the smoke coming from him as he plopped her down in a wheel chair and threw off the blanket.  
  
  
  
"You crazy son of a bitch! What are you trying to do get yourself killed!" she yelled as he wheeled her to the front desk.  
  
  
  
"Trying to have a child dear. Excuse me miss. My uh wife is going into labor here."  
  
  
  
A small mousy woman with glasses looked over the desk at him, "You'll have fill out a form sir."  
  
  
  
"Fill out a form?!"  
  
  
  
Darla reached up grasping the woman by her throat, "Look I am in real pain here. I haven't eaten in three days, and I'm real bitchy!" She snarled, slipping into her game face.  
  
  
  
The woman freaked out. "Right this way" she stuttered and lead them to a room.  
  
  
  
She was turning to leave when Angel grabbed her arm, "I want the finest delivery doctor in here. And if you tell anyone what went on my wife'll kill you.!"  
  
  
  
She nodded hastily leaving the room. A few minutes later a doctor came in and noticed the state Darla was in.  
  
  
  
"You brought her in rather late." He said with disapproval.  
  
"Just make sure the child comes out healthy." Angel sneered. He hated doctors.  
  
  
  
"I must check on the mothers health first."  
  
  
  
"I'm fine!"  
  
  
  
she screamed as she was hit by another contraction.  
  
  
  
Part way into the giving birth part Darla pulled the doctor up by his tie rather violently.  
  
  
  
"Get. Me. Blood!"  
  
  
  
"Not now sweetie." Angel said reassuringly, as he released the frightened man.  
  
  
  
Three hours later.  
  
  
  
Darla was handed a small live thing with a pulse and a heartbeat wrapped in a pink blanket. She smiled at it as it cried away. Memories of other babies crying flashed through her mind. No she would not feed off this one. This was her own and she loved it.  
  
  
  
"C-C-Congrad-ulations. It's a girl."  
  
  
  
The doctor was weary and exhausted. He had been through a rather violent experience with the two vampires and was quite shaken over it.  
  
  
  
Angel smiled down at the two things he loved the most.  
  
  
  
"Hey Doc, why don't you get my sire some blood. Don't ask questions either." He ordered.  
  
  
  
The doctor got up and quickly left to do his bidding.  
  
  
  
Darla smiled up at Angel and let him hold the child.  
  
  
  
"She's beautiful, " she commented.  
  
  
  
Angel didn't answer, but his look was enough.  
  
  
  
"Angel I- I love you. I always have and always will."  
  
  
  
"I love you too. Darla always and forever."  
  
  
  
"Cordelia." She murmured as her eyes fluttered close.  
  
  
  
"Hn?"  
  
  
  
"Our child. Cordelia. Such a pretty name."  
  
  
  
Angel watched as she slipped into unconsciousness with a smile on his face. He had a family. A lover and a child. Both of whom he loved more than anything. And he would protect either of them with his unlife.  
  
  
  
'Why is it you make me feel this way' was Darla's last thought as she fell into a dreamless slumber.  
  
  
  
  
  
THE END!  
  
  
  
A/N: I know it's kind of weird. And I know not Connor, but oh well. It's still a good story. R&R. ^_^! 


End file.
